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So last night was another great Friday. Although I was stressed out from all the driving to and from Mason to pick up my Halloween costume it was all worth it. (A drive that normally only takes me 40 mins took me close to 3 hrs due to rain and stupid drivers.) I went to a friend’s Halloween party last night, ate good food, played some halo, and made Jon’s jaw drop. It was all fun. ^^ I went as the white rabbit from Alice and Wonderland but most people just read it as playboy bunny. Ech that is okay, I looked and felt great I just wish that I would have remembered my camera. After the party Jon and I ended up hanging out more and just joked around (I started to quiz him on general chem and math). But I’m really enjoying the time we spend together. Even though we aren’t a couple it still feels that way… I’m getting nervous that I might be getting attached. I just hope that he feels the same way and that I’m not setting myself up for a let down.
Jon and I have been hanging out a lot lately and it has been so much fun. But it is odd because we aren’t attached to each other, meaning we aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend. But we go on dates and such and he writes me notes and surprises me with coffee in the morning. I’m just really confused that’s all. And it isn’t like we haven’t talked about it, neither one of us wants a serious relationship right now for our own reasons. So somehow I’ve gotten myself into a “yes I go on dates but I’m still single and if I meet someone amazing I can leave you no strings attached.” I laugh to myself about this because how often do I meet new people that I would want to date? But the real thing that I’m worried about is that I can be a bit jealous at times, especially since I’ve liked him for awhile and finally had the guts to do something about it. And with us hanging out and going out on dates what if I get attached and he meets someone else that he feels drawn too. I’ve never been in something like this before, normally it is 2 to 5 dates and I’m off the market. I’m getting ahead of myself, we’ve only been on one real date and have hung out almost every hour since then. We even fell asleep together during a movie last night and didn’t wake up till the morning for classes… it was very nice. It just felt comfortable and right and what is even better about that is that I didn’t say it first he did. I’m just finding myself falling fast and still very confused on what our “title” is. I’m just going to go with the flow and hopefully it all works out but if the flow takes me into a month of this I’m going to speak up. I’ve even talked to Mihee about this and she thinks it is a little weird. I don’t know if I find it weird, I just don’t know if I can do it. But she made an interesting comment on it all, she asked if I saw an actual relationship with him since he was so different from all the other guys I’ve dated. I joking said that yes he isn’t as white bread as the guys in the past but I still find myself attracted to him and he makes me smile. But still, I’m getting ahead of myself… we aren’t an item we are just dating.
I forget that I am littler now than I was last year and the year before that. And in that error of thought I told Jon that we should go “all out” black tie to a school event when alas I had no gown. See I thought that I had a gown, I just bought a simple but beautiful black silk gown but it is being hemmed and taken in around the waist. So I ran out to Mason to see what was hiding in my closet at home. I found that all the dresses there had to be taken in by 4 to 5 inches to fit me now. It was a short “homg this is great” feeling but then I panicked in the thought of gown shopping. I ran around to a few different malls and gown shops all of Friday night and tried on god knows how many dresses. But after trying on a least 40 dresses, half a tank of gas, and 5 1/2 hrs of shopping I found my dress. It really is lovely, again once I’m on a better internet connect I’ll post pictures.
I had such a wonderful night last night! It was the school’s alumni/ fundraising party and I wasn’t planning on going but then Jon (Little Jon for you AAC kids out there) and I were chatting and somehow asked each other out on a date for it. He said that I asked him first but I still think that it was mutual. But since it was a “sort of” costume party and neither one of us had time to make anything we thought it would be fun if we went in black tie to the event. Finding my dress was a post-filled adventure in it’s own but in the end I looked fabulous and felt the same. (I’ll post pictures when I’m on a better internet connection.) The party its-self wasn’t so hot but it was fun in the fact that everyone (and I am not exaggerating at all) there told me that I was stunning. Even one of my professors that I’m not that close to told me that I looked beautiful. I also think that people forgot that I have a waist since in school I wear baggy sweaters and shirts at school and this dress was very form-fitted (read hard to breath in, like a corset.) But after we left the party we went to another party at Haz and Jessica’s place to watch “scary” movies. We ended up watching things like the original Friday the 13th. But that was even fun because I’ve finally found someone that makes horrible comments about the movie while we are watching it! Jon and I had so much fun adding in voices and joking around that if the damn characters would have just kept their pants on they would still be alive. It was very enjoyable and I was asked out on a second date too (this time it was completely Jon asking me)! It was really very nice to wake up smiling and giddy… well it was really nice to wake up at 2 also. We stayed up talking till almost 7 in the morning. Uhg now I have to finish all my homework and cleaning, but I don’t want to wake up completely just yet.
So lately I’ve been having a hard time getting to sleep. It is either my wrist is hurting or my brain is buzzing a million miles a minute…. but life is good for the time being. I realized today that my birthday is only 4 weeks away and I’m an truely scared. I don’t want to have to grow up right now….
