Rollercoasters

Getting married is huge, exciting, and nerve racking. Of late I’ve been worried about my up coming wedding and trying to come up with reasons that it might not work. I have to constantly remind myself that I’m a bit masochistic and that my anxiety is normal. From talking to Tim last night on this very subject we might have come to a mutual meeting of the minds, which I think is pretty damn cool and a wonderful sign.

Getting married is one the largest identity changing events in a person’s life that I know 100% I’m going to experience. I’ve worked very hard to somewhat know who I am, what I stand for, and why I’m here and marriage is going to throw this all for a loop. The idea that I’m not longer going to be Kris the sarcastic artist and that I’m transforming into Ms. Timothy Ebeling the wife that is also an artist is scary. I’m going to have more responsibilities and more stereotypes pushed upon me (like my mother asking when she will have some grand-babies… don’t get me started). Besides all that the program that I’m entering for my MFA does not seem to be marriage friendly. I want Tim to understand that I’m working for our future, but that right now I’m going to be no fun, working late, and sometimes not coming home from the studio. I know that he will support me in whatever I do, he really is great, I just don’t want him to lose faith in me if I’m spending more time with my work than with my husband. Oh the joys of wedding anxieties…

Promise

I have issues with making promises.  They seem so heavy and big and scary.  Like a weight over your head that if you don’t complete the promise the weight will fall and crush you.  I have promised ex boyfriends that we’ll stay friends but that has never happened.  I promised myself that I’m going to start exercising more since I bought a Wii fit… which lasted about 3 months.  I promised myself that I would kept up the blog for sanity… you can see how that is going.  Why is it about promises are so very hard to maintain and keep?  It makes me worried that I’ve promised Tim that I’m going to marry him and that we’ll stay together for the rest of our lives.  Please don’t misunderstand, I love him I’m just afraid that I have more issues with promises than I know of.

Katamari

So I’ve been in wedding planning mode for awhile now but I’m finally making up my mind. I’ve got my katamari and I’m rollin’! Tim and I are working together (woot!) and have picked the location, style, colors (okay I picked the colors), and date. Besides that, I have my dress picked out and paid for. It should be here in Oct. so that still leaves lots of time for alterations. Luckily the dress right off the rack fit me like a glove but I need to lose the train and shorten the hemline. Which sadly gives me another headache… where the hell does one find a ballerina length crinoline with a cinched waist and medium fullness. I never thought that I would know this much about crinoline terminology.

I ::heart:: buying gas

That’s right, I ::heart:: buying gas now.  Not that I love to spend money but that now with the scooter it is a whopping 3 to 4 dollars to fill my tank.  Now if I’ve done my math correctly that completely beats the pants off filling up my old car (a 1996 Honda Accord) which ranged between 30 and 45 dollars to completely fill up (it all really depended on how long I was driving on E).  Now when I have to go to the gas station I see everyone one there looking so grumpy as the numbers just keep going up up up, but I’m in and out of there in less then 5 minutes and still enough money in my pocket to buy an ice cream on the way home.  Oh man, the scooter is equaling a huge win.  Not only is it great on the wallet but how the hell can someone be sad when driving one!  Moving up to Michigan, go ride the scooter.  Trying to find a job up in Michigan, go ride the scooter.  Wanting ice cream even though your lactose intolerant, go ride the scooter and still get an ice cream for the way home!

Roller coaster of love!

Tim and I doing what we do best